Sucker punch

It’s been a long hard week for me. In light of some other people’s situations that I have become aware of, my situation may seem inconsequential, but to me, right now, it has been hard.

Yesterday, the Boyfriend did a great thing in standing his ground against his boss and getting what was effectively his second day off in four months (excluding Sundays.)

It was possibly one of the best things he could have done, as the weight of facing another five days alone was beginning to bear down down on me like the most oppressive thing oppressing the lest most oppressive thing.

Today he has helped lift me enough to enable me to face the nest few days, enough of a boost to ‘get me through,’ almost like a addict getting his next hit, not knowing where or when his next hit will come from. I didn’t care, I was happy, he was trying, we were working at it.

There was a hiccup, to keep up the analogy, my dealer has been caught and my supply chain interrupted. My next ‘hit’ will not be as expected, but I took in the news and dealt with it as best as my currently limited self will allow.

Then it came, the phone call from my mother. My grandmother has been taken into a home for emergency care, after what appears to have been a second stroke, she is not safe enough to be left alone.

She’s there for two weeks , after which she either gets sent home with care, or moves to somewhere more permanent. At 94, I know it’s this right thing for her. I know it’s the right thing for my mother who has had to live looking after her as a parent to a child for many years now, but I am of the belief that we are not far from that time which we all dread.

As I try to retrieve myself from a place I know I do not want to be, it’s like just another sucker punch to the gut.

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