Just because you can read….

it doesn’t mean you can write, but it doesn’t mean I can’t dream either.

There is a question I am being asked more and more frequently of late, to the point where even my own mother has got in on the act.

“When are you going to write your / Why don’t you write a book”

It stems from my love of books, and all things bookish, my years of attending book festivals, and my friends who either write themselves or are somehow ‘in the industry’. You’ve seen from my posts here I get through an awful lot of books, I’m already up to 64 for the year, and I really enjoy the escapism that comes from losing yourself when reading.

But, am I a writer?

My reviews don’t always suggest so. I know what I like and what I don’t, and if you sit across a table from me I will argue the salient points behind my belief with gusto, but can I get them over to you in a blog post? I’d say not, but If I read the reviews of books I’ve read in broadsheets, or specialist book blogging websites, they often put my offerings to shame, but at the same time, I’m not interested in having the synopsis of a book regurgitated to me, I change my mind, as let’s face it, the review never makes you read a book. Those damn author written taglines on the front cover will though.

When I look at other things I’ve written, on older, now defunct blogs I see something, even if I’m not sure what that something is, that points in another direction.

My desire to write is also hampered by something else. I’m a major league procrastinator, hence this blog. I am always avoiding doing anything that actually needs to be done. Maybe it’s laziness, maybe it’s just being afraid of putting in a lot of hard work for rejection, maybe it’s a fear of failing. I’d say all of the above, but I’ve failed at a lot of things in life and have picked myself up, dusted myself down, and moved forward on a regular basis.

In the time it has taken me to write this post, in my head, I’ve gone from feeling strong for being able to admit a lack of ability to feeling like I”m just making more excuses not to try.

I can read.
I love to read.
I would love to be a writer
but do I lock the ability to write?
Most days I say yes, although in all honesty, I have no idea, but since I can dream, I figure there’s hope for me yet…

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June Photo Challenge

Here’s the guide this months photo challenge. As usual you can follow my progress by following JoKawasaki on Instagram, or by checking out my blog The Day Watch.

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I don’t get to do this often enough.

I don’t get the time or the opportunities to enjoy doing what I really love. Sitting around with friends or family, just drinking, chatting and whiling away the hours.

I will be doing a lot of this over the next weekend.

I shouldn’t be allowed to dress myself sometimes…..

because on days like today, this is what happens.

1. 4:30 of the AM

Get up.
Spend five minutes studying trousers thinking as I do so, “I don’t remember my work trousers having pockets.”
Try putting them on, then realising they don’t fit, start to panic that I’ve shrunk them in the dryer.
Spend five minutes continuing to try fitting into them, cursing myself a lot before it dawns on my that they aren’t actually my trousers.

2. 5:10 of the AM

Get in my car and spend several minutes readjusting everything as it was last driven by the other half, and wishing I could afford a car with memory seats.
Plug in my iPhone and iPod, start it up and set off. As I look at the house opposite my car park, I find I can’t read the sign by the door, 20 feet away from me. Realise I haven’t put in my contact lenses. Neither am I wearing my glasses. Life truly is a blur.

3. 2.45 of the PM

Get home from work.
Since I have nowhere else to go today, I decide to get changed into comfy clothes and veg out. This is when I realise my über comfy one piece support bra, really lives up to its name, as it appears I’ve been wearing it back to front all day.

As long as I don’t repeat myself tomorrow, I think I’ll be OK….. 😉

The downside of procrastination….

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You may find yourself forgetting to do something important, like sending off the warranty registration cards for your kitchen full of lovely brand new appliances.

Not such a big deal you think, until you realise you’ve forfeited your 2 year parts and labour guarantee, and then your washing machine goes on the fritz and all your user manual has to say about fixing the problem is

“Try turning it off and on again”

And thus, feeling like an extra in The IT Crowd, you do so and nothing changes.

*sigh*

Yes, this is the position I found myself in the other night when the dryer part of my washer/dryer wouldn’t work.  Instead it chose to flash lights at me rapidly, like a naked old man who thinks that you enjoy nothing better than being repeatedly shown his shrivelled and aged ‘tackle’.

I dutifully switched it off and on again several times to no avail. Fortunately when I tried again at three in the morning it worked fine.

So fingers crossed it was just something simple like the fact the machine was too hot, and not a big fault I need to fix.

Superstitious Much?

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We all have odd superstitions and tendencies, like the way both The Boyfriend and his sister can’t have the TV or car stereo volume on an odd number, it has to be even, but it can’t be 14.

For me it’s palindromes. I drive 100+ miles a day when I’m working and have a superstitious tendency to judge whether the forthcoming day will be ‘good’, or ‘bad’, dependant on if I see the palindromic numbers on my dashboard.

It’s irrational and has no real foundation in truth, other than to repeat something I learnt in the courses I attended for work last year. That’s all about the self-fulfilling prophecy, if you think it will be bad, it will be and vice versa…

Acknowledging this, hasn’t stopped me from looking for the numbers, but it has made me less apprehensive about the day ahead, if I don’t happen to see them whenever I know that they are due to go by. I’m just taking another little step at fighting and letting go of my demons, and learning to deal with the day as it comes instead of pre-conceiving how the day will go before I get there.

What’s your superstition, and how do you let it affect your day?