I’ve been stuck in bed all day swinging between hot and cold sweats as my body is currently being used as a battleground between some dreaded lurgi and my immune system.
While I’ve been trying to keep myself amused I have been perusing the files of some recently re-discovered SD cards.
I’d forgotten I’d got this. I took this video in Piccadilly Circus last February. I was very drunk, after spending several hours frequenting the hostelries of Leicester Square, celebrating achieving a lifelong ambition to meet Stan Lee, at the inaugural London Super ComicCon .
I must admit to being quite surprised at how steady this video footage is given my level of inebriation at the time. I do know when I watched it at the time I thought it was brilliant. Watching it back it’s not as good as I remembered, but it’s still good entertainment, so enjoy watching, if only to appreciate the things I enjoy when I’m drunk.
because sometimes you just have to.
There’s a reason for my love of procrastination, and to be blunt about it, it’s a complete lack of faith in my own abilities.
As much as I would love to be a writer, I don’t believe I have the ability to do it. I don’t believe I have an imagination to come up with great stories. I’m almost of the opinion why am I bothering? before I even start. Every other year I sign myself up for NaNoWriMo, and every other year I sit for a few days staring at a blank screen, before beginning to find and increasing number of other things to do instead of sitting there, and finally giving up for another year.
Then because I’ve given up I feel like everyone I know is laughing at my attempts to call myself anything because I can’t do it, and that every time I say something about writing people just sneer to themselves that I’m all talk.
I set myself up for failure every year before I start. I believe I am a failure, and unable to do this. In fact I often wonder if I shouldn’t just give it all up and resign myself to just being a reader, but then the annoying little voice inside my head tells me I’ll never be happy if that’s what I do.
It remains to be seen if I manage to do anything this month, but as always I’ll give it a try, and if I can at least beat my all time best of 10,000 words then maybe there’s a glimmer of hope for me after all.