I shouldn’t be allowed to dress myself sometimes…..

because on days like today, this is what happens.

1. 4:30 of the AM

Get up.
Spend five minutes studying trousers thinking as I do so, “I don’t remember my work trousers having pockets.”
Try putting them on, then realising they don’t fit, start to panic that I’ve shrunk them in the dryer.
Spend five minutes continuing to try fitting into them, cursing myself a lot before it dawns on my that they aren’t actually my trousers.

2. 5:10 of the AM

Get in my car and spend several minutes readjusting everything as it was last driven by the other half, and wishing I could afford a car with memory seats.
Plug in my iPhone and iPod, start it up and set off. As I look at the house opposite my car park, I find I can’t read the sign by the door, 20 feet away from me. Realise I haven’t put in my contact lenses. Neither am I wearing my glasses. Life truly is a blur.

3. 2.45 of the PM

Get home from work.
Since I have nowhere else to go today, I decide to get changed into comfy clothes and veg out. This is when I realise my über comfy one piece support bra, really lives up to its name, as it appears I’ve been wearing it back to front all day.

As long as I don’t repeat myself tomorrow, I think I’ll be OK….. 😉

Late, not *late, late* but still late…..

The boyfriend is a rubbish timekeeper.  If you give him a time to do something, you always have to make it earlier than in actually needs to be, except when it comes to work.  In all the years I’ve known him, he has been late to work just once.  Until now. This week he’s managed to be late for work, not just once, but twice, albeit the second time only half as late as the first.  So today I am on a mission, to find a cheap alarm clock, in order to stop him relying on a dying mobile phone to drag him from the depths of sleep.

Birthday cleansing

I don’t like birthdays. I haven’t for over a decade or so. It’s nothing to do with my age or getting older, because as far as I’m concerned you truly are as young or as old as you want yourself to be. No, the reason I don’t like birthdays is because they have always been filled with nothing but disappointment, both in myself and in others. They have simply become an annual reminder of my own inadequacies and those of the people surrounding me.

The week before my birthday is spent swinging between hope that this year will be different, and a deepening despair, that nothing will ever change.

Until now.

This year is completely different. This year I had enough. This year I have made some big changes for the better, and there are some ongoing changes too.

This year I have a new place of my own, paid for through my own efforts and not lining the pockets of someone who already has far more money than me. I have (as admittedly I have had for a while) a fab fella, who looks after me well, and doesn’t forget those special days.

This year I am very definitely not disappointed in myself.

I also refuse to be disappointed in others either. Instead of berating the people who “don’t care” enough to contact me on “my day”, or who “can’t be bothered” to send a card or message to me “let alone”, actually get one to me on time, I’m letting go.

I’m deleting people from my address book, and moving on. I am getting rid of them for one reason and one reason only. I am worth more, and from now on I am only surrounding myself with positive do-ers, and no negative nancy’s.

I am cleansing myself of bad vibes, because it’s my birthday, and just for once I am determined to enjoy it!